Dissertation distractions - Pimp your own farm: Why I shall not be joining Farmville.

The sudden increase in workload at university is reminding me I am in third year and I do have to put finger to keyboard and eye to book. So far, however, I have put finger to keyboard and ended up on youtube, and well my eye has been on a book, but so has my face.

A book is a fantastic pillow.

Regrettably my university associates have found another addictive distraction to keep their gaze from the slightly important dissertation, and well they are desperately trying to get me to join the club. The virtual agricultural club that is: say hello to Farmville.

It's allotments, but for young people on Red Bull.

Now, I may normally live in a rural area of England, I may have ventured once or twice on a farm. I think I once went strawberry picking aged about 5. I have sat in the garden, and even mowed the lawn.

But, clearly I am no Farmer. More Farm shop.

This new game on Facebook allows unsuspecting users to start up a virtual farm.

My housemates inform me you can grow and harvest peppers and crops.

For all I care you could learn to herd buffalo.

It's just another distraction to make the library seem even more meaningless.

I imagine hours go by, the books are piled up behind your laptop, but all that has happened is your combine harvester has broken down, or your sheep have come down with mumps.

You are in your very own Farm Brother, and I will not be a contestant.

I can't deny the pressure hasn't been building, three of my housemates are apart of it, and I feel like I've lost them to a drug induced ghetto, but with cows, not heroin.

Their rehab is their tractor, their joy is their new born lambs. All completely animated, but clearly more addictive, ironically, than a roast dinner. In-fact I have heard people starving for hours because they feared their sunflowers would perish.

Too add to this, I now worry about leaving my computer anywhere, for the fear I may leave myself 'logged on' and therefore open to being 'signed up'.

I have to say this has already happened.

I was horrified.

It was just past midday at university, work was being attempted, but I had been a bit generous with my soft drink consumption during my time at the computer.

I needed the toilet, and generally this shouldn't of been a problem.

Without thinking, I took a casual stroll to the nearest cubicle. About a 2 minute walk.

When I strolled back I continued with relevant work. But then something happened.

On my 'minimised' Facebook I had received a notification. Someone had added me as a fellow farmer on Farmville. But I didn't have Farmville.

Panic.

All of sudden I realised my 'Farmville friends', mainly a housemate named Matt, had carefully orchestrated a campaign to stop me from ever leaving this virtual frenzie, by signing me up whilst I was relieving myself.

Help.

I managed, after some effort, to work out how to leave the application.

They see this as just the beginning. And everywhere, people are talking about their crops, there lost animals, their successful wheat yield.

And it gets worse, students I know have purposely not gone out to socialise in favor of this computer zoo.

On a night out, friends have disappeared, only to find them staring at their fields of gold at 3am.

This very night I sit next to people I know farming. They are talking about helping black sheep by adopting them - I feel like the French resistance, but obviously less significant.